This morning I read the news that Megan Fox has been cast as April O’Neil in the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film.
I was sorely disappointed for two reasons;
- The turtles mean a great deal to me. I watched the original movie throughout my childhood until I wore the video out, I grew up on those guys. When I met my now spouse, it was one of the first things we discovered in common, a love for those heroes in a half shell. I love them and look forward to one day introducing my children to them.
- I cannot stand Megan Fox. She is arrogant, has no sense of humour and cannot act. She does that pouty thing far too much and simply isn’t as pretty as she thinks she is.
So that’s that film ruined for me then…
Then I got to thinking, well who should play April? I started considering my favourite actresses and then I realised that was the wrong way to go about it. Who is April? In the original films she is a reporter, perhaps late twenties who the teenage turtles develop crushes on. She’s ambitious and kind and almost a mother figure.
But then in the latest cartoon April is a teenage girl, more the age of the turtles and the daughter of a scientist. This might be a ridiculous marketing gimmick in an attempt to relate to teenage female viewers (similar to replacing Christopher Robin with a girl) but it also suggests an actual romantic storyline, in this case between April and turtle Donatello. Which is…a little weird?
So I’m going to stay away from the teenage April and focus on adult April the reporter. It has occurred to me that perhaps April should be an unknown. Who are voicing the turtles? Will it famous names or new actors? Does it matter?
Bearing in mind that it’s slightly harder to suggest unknown actresses, for the obvious reasons, here are my five casting suggestions for April O’Neil (although to be honest, anyone would be better than Megan Fox). Just for a bit of fun!
- Emily Blunt
A dignified and understated actress, Emily Blunt has the looks of a leading lady and the ability to make you fall in love with her in a matter of seconds. She’s also incredibly talented. Compare The Devil Wears Prada with The Five Year Engagement with Looper, for example.
- Jennifer Laurence
Ok, so maybe she’s a bit young but I think she could pull it off, plus she’s the latest ‘thing’ in Hollywood! She’s got the looks and the talent, although to be honest I’ve only seen her as Mystique in X-Men: First Class but she was brilliant and I’m looking forward to seeing her in X-Men: Days of Future Past.
- Kaley Cuoco
Everyone’s favourite Big Bang Theory girl and it’s about time she was in a big time film like Michael Bay’s attempt at the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. She’s pretty, she can act, she’s loveable…might have to do something about the blonde hair though.
- Zooey Deschanel
Out of all of these actresses, Zooey Deschanel definately looks the part. Best known for New Girl, I also remember her from Failure to Launch of which she was the best part. She’s bubbly, fun, a very good actress and stunning.
- Kat Dennings
I nearly didn’t add Kat Dennings to this list, purely because of 2 Broke Girls but I don’t think that programme does her justice. She definately has the look of April O’Neil and when you remember her in the 40 Year Old Virgin and Thor, it makes me wonder if she should be given a chance to shine as the lead lady.
Who do you think would be a better April O’Neil than Megan Fox?