I can only apologise for my lack of postage on Wednesday. I was ill, which is of course what happens when you have a week off from work. I woke up feeling sick, forced myself to eat breakfast and then sat at the top of the stairs/lay on the sofa for the rest of the day trying not to throw up. I woke up the next morning still feeling a bit tender but overall fine. So what was that all about?
Wednesday was supposed to be a day of writing and of course I naturally did nothing. In fact, I’ve done no writing all holiday so far. I found my organisational notes that I made before I went on annual leave, written when I was still in ‘work mode’. I was supposed to have written 13,000 words by the end of this week.
So far I’ve written…nothing! (Blog posts don’t count.)
I have this problem on most holidays. If I let my brain shut down from work then writing tends to go out of the window with it. A week off work should be the perfect time to catch up on my writing, to immerse myself in it and every now and then I manage to do this.
On one hand, this is unavoidable. When you stop work, everything catches up with you. Any illness that was teetering on the surface, all of that lack of sleep, it all rushes at you head on and pummels you into the sofa/bed. To be honest even cleaning the house is just too much this week.
On the other hand, on the rare weeks when I manage to switch off my work brain but keep my writing brain switched on, it just plain hurts. I don’t mean the actual writing. I love that part. Waking up every morning and writing, like being a real life full time writer. It’s living the dream and it’s wonderful. And then the holiday ends and Monday comes and it’s time to go back into the day job and that hurts.
It’s more than just depressing, it’s a physical pain in my chest. A tightness, an itching, a desire to run out screaming.
So I may not be anywhere near my 13,000 word target this week (but still have three days to go!), but at least it won’t be utter agony to go back to work.
Nope, it’ll only hurt the usual amount…