Wow. What a long month July has been.
It all started off so well. We had a great time celebrating a big family birthday and the following week things just…well…went tits up.
So how did I do this week? I wrote a pathetic 9,337 words. Which is still better than May but rubbish compared to June. I’ve submitted no short stories (haven’t even written any), I didn’t get started on either novel that were supposed to be under way by now and I’ve sent out maybe one pitch for work.
So what are my reasons? Well, I was still in holiday mode when this month started, which when mixed with a heatwave, resulted in me sleeping on the sofa. I didn’t actually even turn on my laptop apart from to apply for a job.
At the beginning of the month our eldest guinea pig became poorly. By the end of the second week he had entered in the final stage of renal failure. We started July thinking we may need to change our daily routine to give our piggy more care. On 15 July, my beloved little boy passed away peacefully in his sleep.
He was a tiny guinea pig, and the renal failure made him even smaller. But he has left a massive hole in our family and lives. Even two weeks later I’m still crying, and I’m still desperately missing him. Thankfully our remaining two guinea pigs seem to have returned to a form of normality.
The day before my little one passed away I had an interview for a job I really wanted. Surely, I thought, this had to be the light in such a dark month (we knew by this stage we would lose our piggy, it was just about waiting for the right time).
So I endured a four hour interview process, three hours of which were spent sitting and waiting. Later that afternoon (thank god they didn’t call me the next day or I don’t know what I would have done) I got the call to say I’d come a close second but no cigar. I hadn’t cried like that in a while. Proper frustrated body wracking sobs.
I just feel like I’m constantly battling everything every day and I’m tired.
By the time I managed to pick myself back up there was only a week of July left. A week littered with more job rejections. I’m guessing I’m a bit run down, because I’m coming down with a cold. In June I began to feel the need to refresh the house. The passing of my guinea pig spurred this on. I need to take control over something. I need a fresh beginning and if I can’t have that in a new job, then I’ll have it in the house. So this week has been spent writing articles for content mills for some quick cash and decorating our spare room, which is where I do my writing. All this while exhausted and growing cotton wool in my brain.
August will be better. This weekend I’ll be putting the finishing touches to my refreshed writing room and sorting out those novels. I got a short story idea from my horrible four hour interview so I’ll be writing that (silver linings and all), and Monday sees me starting to incorporate exercise into my routine. Seriously, a month of horribleness has made me pile the weight on (currently typing this while eating ice cream).
I know that there are so, so many people out there who have it worse than me. I’m actually very lucky. I’m just not feeling it this month. But this too shall pass and things will get better. Until then, there is ice cream and guinea pig cuddles and some damn fiction to write.
See you in August.